From Weakness to Excellence for You: A Lesson for English Pronunciation

I love reading the sports news.  It tells stories of heroes. 

People say Michael Jordan is one of the greatest sportsmen in history. 

His extraordinary success can be linked to a single quality.  His story can be a guiding light for you. Let me explain. 

As a teenager growing up in North Carolina, Michael Jordan couldn’t even make his high school basketball team, yet today he is the greatest basketball player in history.  How does that happen?  Some people would say it was just luck or a fluke of talent.  Others would say he was in the right place at the right time and had opportunities others didn’t have.  Others would say he just had an amazing growth spurt after high school.  All of these would be wrong.

 Michael Jordan trained harder and longer in high school than anyone else on the team or bench.  When he didn’t make the team, he pushed the coach for a reason.  Jordan’s coach told him his free throw record was poor. So what did Jordan do?  He practiced his free throw.  He made five hundred free throws every day for ten years.  Notice – he didn’t shoot five hundred free throws:  he made five hundred free throws.  He wouldn’t let himself go to bed until he had made five hundred free throws.

Jordan increased his skill and earned his place with hard work.  The guy had talent, yes. But he also worked harder to develop his talent than anybody else.  When he made it to college basketball, he realized his fade-away jump shot was a weakness.  So he focused his practice on his fade-away jump shot until it became one of the sparkling high points of his game.  By the time he entered the NBA he had mastered it – so much so that many thought he had invented it.

When was the last time you identified a weakness in any area of your speech communication and then systematically set about eliminating it?

Do you want something to work on?  Choose your highest error sounds and words.

People ask, what are the most common errors for people with English as a second language. 

Answer:  the “d” sound is a high error sound for many ESLers.  It is frequently used in communication, because we used the suffix  “ed” for past tense.

The short vowel “a” is mispronounced by practically all ESLers because the American English vowel is indeed pronounced differently than the “a” sound in most other languages.

What you just got was a procedure to excellence.  By the way, a very frequently mispronounced word is “procedure.”  We use that word every day in work-related talk.  An excellent procedure for becoming the best version of yourself is constant and consistent improvement of your weaknesses.  Go for perfect practice.  Whew, it feels great!

Jumping to the Next Level for English Pronunciation—A Hero

Last month I went to south Florida to connect with relatives for a family wedding and to connect with Catholic priests doing the clear talk program in the Archdiocese of Miami.

Father R had been stuck in his English speech communication. But now he is hero again and is jumping to the next level of communicating in English.

He remembered coming to Miami from Cuba seven years ago. He presented himself to his pastor on Friday night. The pastor said, “Can you do Mass in English on Monday morning?

Father R’s response, “Yes. No problem.” Father R laughs now. “Dr. Antonia, those were the only two words I knew in English.”

Father R spent the worst two days of his life on that weekend. But he did do the Mass in English on Monday. The accent would have been so heavy that people probably thought he was speaking Spanish. 

After that, he spent four of the most stressful years of his life. Every day was a race to learn as much pronunciation for ministry work and everyday life. At the same time he used all his strength and brain to learn as much vocabulary and grammar as he could.

Finally a stroke of luck for him– transfer to a mission church where mostly Spanish was spoken. End of English problem? On the one hand, at this mission church he speaks Spanish most of the time. But on the other hand, now he knows that in order to communicate with the youth coming to this mission church, he needs to speak English. Their parents speak Spanish, but they only speak English. Then there are the hours in confession and responding to people in emotional and spiritual pain where English is the language of that person. 

He felt like he was stuck. He figured he had gotten about as far as he could on his own to make his English clear and easy to understand.

Then another stroke of good fortune. He is chosen to do the Clear Talk program for clear English speaking. Now he got a speech assessment to determine where his speech sounds are different than clear American English. He is learning training and speaking strategies for clear English. And he is coached on exactly what to change and how to train so clear English speech is a habit.

 He is now UN stuck and can move forward.

 As he puts it, by the grace of God he managed.

 He is a hero in his own life. Now he is a hero with a systematic and scientifically based way to jump to the next level with his English speech. And he doesn’t have to be stressed out all the time. He is a hero with a speech coach. He is working to become the best version of himself. Don’t you love it?

Dear Friend Letter from a Grieving Person

I found it.  I got it on May 23^rd, the last and fourth night of my four week grief support group.  It’s a letter given to the 10 of us for sending to friends.  Why would grieving people need to send a letter to friends?  A letter to educate friends (and family!) about how to show care and concern.  Barbara, hospice counselor, says it’s because the American culture responds to death and grief so badly.   Other cultures, she says, do sooo much better.  They have rituals and expected behaviors to support the grieving person.

 Read this:

 Dear Friend,

     I have experienced a loss that is devastating to me.  It will take time, perhaps years, for me to work through the grief I am having because of this loss.

     Please be patient with me; I need to grieve in my own way and in my own time.  Please don’t take away my grief or try to fix my pain.  The best thing you can do is listen to me and let me cry on your shoulder.  I may cry more than usual for some time.  My tears are not a sign of weakness or a lack of hope or faith.  They are symbols of the depth of my loss and the sign that I am recovering.  Don’t be afraid to cry with me.  Your tears will tell me how much you care.

      I may become angry without there seeming to be a reason for it. My emotions are heightened by the stress of my grief.  Please be understanding if I seem irrational at times and forgive me if I seem insensitive to your problems.  I feel depleted and drained, like an empty vessel, with nothing left to give.

     Please let me express my feelings and talk about my memories.  I need your understanding and your presence more than anything else.  If you don’t know what to say, just touch me or give me a hug to let me know that you care.  Please understand why I must turn a deaf ear to criticism or tired clichés.  I can’t handle another person telling me that “time heals all wounds.”  Please don’t try to find the “right” words to say to me; there’s nothing you can say to take away the hurt.  Do feel free to share your own stories of my loved one with me.  I like to hear them.

     Please don’t push me to do things I’m not ready to do, or feel hurt if I seem withdrawn.  I need you more than ever during the next year.  Reach out to me.  Don’t wait for me to call you.  I am often too tired to even think of reaching out for help.  You might think you’re respecting my privacy, but to me it feels like abandonment.

     This loss is the worst thing that could happen to me.  But, I will get through it and I will live again.  I will not always feel as I do now, but please don’t expect me to be the same as I was before.  I’ve been through a devastating experience.  Please accept me for who I am today.

     Thank you for caring about me.  Your concern is a gift I will always treasure.

                                                                    Love,

Connection and caring.  These are the heart and spirit of life.

Also, see our previous blog on How to Communicate With a Grieving Person.