What You Get From Your Reconnecting Conversation

The information the other person gives could be something of interest to you or something about which you can give support.

Or the information might be valuable to someone else you know.

Typically, after telling you what’s going on in their lives, they will come back and inquire about yours.  So both sides of the conversation get an update.

The conversation is re-establishing relationship and is a natural source for networking.

English Communication Skill: Be a Listening Magnet- Part 2 Be Alert & Write it Out!

Here are some  more practical tips for shooting forward in your listening skill–

1. Take an alert body position

Enhance your conversation by doing these body positions

• Uncross your arms and legs.
• Sit straight in the chair.
• Face the speaker full on.
• Lean forward.
• Make as much eye contact as you can.

And if you feel yourself getting drowsy, don’t give in. Sit up straighter. Stand up.  Get a drink  of water. Emphasis on “get!”  Get the blood flowing in whatever way works for you.  Don’t think you can effectively combat drowsiness without changing your physical position.

2. Write it down

Taking notes is a great listening aid.  Regardless of whether you ever refer to your notes again, the simple act of writing down the most important points boosts the entire listening process.  Fully absorbing an entire conversation through listening only is almost impossible.

If you are negotiating with another person or persons, making notes is important throughout every step of the negotiating process.  In this circumstance, review your notes right away to be sure that you wrote down everything you may want to remember, and that you can read everything you wrote down.  If you can’t read your notes, (and sometimes I can barely read my notes!) then redo the notes right away!

For negotiating or any business meeting or important meeting of any kind, when you are comfortable with your notes, consider providing a status report to the other side.  A confirming memo is an excellent way to assure that you listened well. Writing down what you think you heard and verifying the material with the other side is a positive experience.

However, if your counterpart believes you recorded the conversation incorrectly, then he or she can provide the conflicting information.  Immediately thank the other person. Point out that you wrote the memo to be sure you listened well and interpreted the discussion accurately.

Here is a tip. If the other person says you got it all wrong and misunderstood him or her, do consider this. You may  have listened carefully, because it is just as likely that the other person is correcting a sloppy communication to you.  People often change or refine their position when they see it in writing.  Do let that modification happen gracefully to the written record of what happened in the meeting and the agreements or disagreements therein.

When the other person provides a new version of the negotiations or the communication in any meeting, simply change your notes.  In fact, arguing about  who said what never furthers negotiations or communication about the content of a meeting. However what does further negotiations of communication and relationship IS identifying the other person’s position, especially an opposing party’s position.  Remember: You write it out to get it right.

Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos  for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercise.

English Communication Skill: Be a Listening Magnet

Communication is connecting with people.  Relationship. And half of the story is listening.

Do you want to be a better listener?  Do you want the other person to know you are truly in the same space with them?

There are four things you can do right now to improve your listening skills.  They are easy and bring immediate results.  Today, we’ll talk about two

1. Clear away the clutter. Noise clutter, desk clutter, even mind clutter.

What to do?

•  When you talk to someone, don’t just mute the television, turn it off.
• If you have something else on your mind, write it down before you enter a conversation. With that note as a reminder, you won’t worry about forgetting to address the issue – and your mind is free to focus on the rest of the conversation.
• Clear your desk – or whatever is between you and the speaker – so you concentrate on what the speaker is saying.
• Don’t accept phone calls or texts while you are talking with someone else. Interrupting a conversation to take a call or review a text makes the person in the room with you feel unimportant – and makes what you have to say seem unimportant.

2. Count to three

Here’s an extraordinarily simple strategy to help you listen more effectively. Just count to three before you speak.  This slight delay enables you to absorb and understand the last statement before you respond.

As you practice this skill over time, actually counting may not be necessary, but the pause always benefits you.  You absorb the message, and you give the other person one last chance to modify the statement or question.  Even if your response is simply that you must consult with your client, spouse, or boss, pausing for three seconds helps you better understand and remember what the other person said.

Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos  for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercise.

The Power of Reconnecting 2

When calling to reconnect with people, all you have to say is:

“I was thinking about you because … “

“I was talking to … and I thought of you.”

“I was thinking about my career and I thought about how you influenced me with …”

Accent Reduction: Best Strategies for HOW To Learn Accurate, Clear English Speaking

Before we get to the best strategies for HOW to learn accurate, clear English speaking, let’s ask the important WHY question.  So why do you need to know how to learn the skills  for reducing your accent and making your English easy to understand?

The answer comes from research on academic learning. Teaching students good learning strategies enables them to know how to acquire new knowledge, which leads to  better learning outcomes, writes lead author Helen Askell-Williams of Flinders University in Adelaide, Australia.  Studies bear this out.  Askell-Williams cites an example of a recent finding by PISA,  the Programme for International Student Assessment, which administers academic proficiency tests to students around the globe. “Students who use appropriate strategies to remember what they learn, such as underlining important parts of the texts or discussing what they read with other people, perform at least 73 points higher in the PISA assessment – that is one full proficiency level or nearly two full school years – than students who use these strategies the least,” the PISA report reads.  (See Annie-Murphy Paul’s summary in Smart Learning Strategies, in her “The Brilliant Report” of Oct. 7, 2013.)

You need to know how to learn to speak clear English,  so the learning is efficient AND long lasting.  These are strategies that work:

• It takes 70 days of practice every day to change your habits from accented English to clear easy to understand English.  That is 10 weeks of learning.
• Do  a full diagnostic assessment to know what you already know, such as  accurate speech sounds, and to know what your errors are.  That way you can focus on what you need to change.  That’s efficient learning!
• Do daily practice of a minimum 5 days a week, at least 30 minutes of English speaking exercises
• Take every opportunity  in daily life to practice the tactics for clear English pronunciation and other intelligibility skills.  This way you learn to adjust your mouth movements and loudness of your voice to the circumstances.  And you learn to think and talk clearly at the same time.
• Use clear talking visual learning and visual models (for example, video lessons using a human teacher)  in addition to voice only recorded lessons to give you the biggest gain.
• Get periodic checks to be sure you are using your speech muscles in exactly the right way.  For most people, once or twice in a week feedback during coaching works perfectly.
• Get specific training advice on exactly what to do with your speech muscles.  Remember, it is not practice makes perfect, but perfect practice makes perfect.

Remember the 1000 and 10,000 practices you need to make clear accurate English a habit.

Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos  for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercise.