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Communication

How to ask for a date

How to ask for a date?

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Getting started is the hardest.

People who speak English as a second language often ask about colloquial or typical prases for asking a person out for a date.  They want the general North American pattern of that conversation,  In the United States, males can ask and females can ask.

Warmup Question

“How are you?”

“How’s it going?”

Rationale: The answer tells whether to proceed forward.  Tone of voice and body language may indicate that the other person is going through a very hard time, say, an accident or death in the family. Such a circumstance is not a good time to ask for a date.

Ask about Schedule

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Do you have any plans on (day of the week)?”

Rationale:  If the person has another commitment or is exhausted, then regroup on your plan for when to do this date.

Mention Activity

“There’s this cool (activity idea) coming up.”

“I’ve been meaning to check out (activity idea)”

Rationale:  The appeal of the activity idea might be enough to persuade the other person that going out with you is a great idea!

Ask for agreement to date or activity

“Do you want to go out?”

“Do you want to (activity idea)?”

Rationale: Be direct and to the point even if feeling shy or uncertain about the other person’s answer.  If you are not, then the other person may not even know that she/he has been asked out.

Compliment

“You’re just fun to hang out with.”

“You’re just so interesting.”

Rationale:  Compliments help other persons know what is their appeal to you.

Advancing the idea or giving an encouraging description

“It’ll be a lot of fun.”

“The weather’s going to be great.”

“I’ve heard (activity idea) is awesome.”

Rationale: Focusing on the activity and the pleasure eases some of the uncertainty and pressure on the other person to say yes.

Retreat or allowing for space to decide

“Just thought I’d put it out there.”

“Only if it sounds like fun.”

“No pressure.”

“Figured it was worth asking.”

Rationale: Notice the body language to determine whether they are indecisive and not sure.  Take the pressure off to make it easier for them to agree to go out with you, or not go out with you, on this occasion.  Also taking the pressure off doesn’t lock them into never going out with you.  For example, if you suggest ice skating, they could turn you down because they don’t know how to ice skate.

Once you have the basic phrases engrained in your mind (memorized), combine for what fits your circumstance.

To be redundant, observe body language to interpret the other’s response to doing a date or activity with you. With that, you could proceed with enthusiasm in the form of advancing the idea or giving an encouraging description.  Or you could decide to go with a bit of humbleness in the form of a retreat.   Both are follow-up phrases which give the other person time and space to decide if she or he wants to go out or do an activity with you.

If rejection comes because of the activity, ask the other person what activity she/he would feel comfortable or excited about.

Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos  for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercises.

Take Detached Look at Your Comfort Zone for Interaction

Take a Detached Look at your Comfort Zone for Interacting with Others.

Taking a detached look at your comfort zone for people interaction can be unsettling, but it reveals a characteristic which you can choose to accept or change.

–Are you comfortable or at ease making conversation with someone you don’t know at a meeting, convention or conference?

—Do you avoid making eye contact with people in hallways, elevators and airplanes?

—Can you respond easily when someone tries to include you in a conversation?

Key words here are “making conversation,” ” eye contact,” and “easy response when someone tries to include you in a conversation” Therein lies the steps toward expanding your comfort zone for interaction.

Keep in Touch

Keep in Touch The Power of Staying in Touch… and Reconnecting

You ever get “Keep in touch” line at the end of a note, written or email?Great power is in staying in touch and reconnecting. Think about your relationships, past and present which are likely more vast than your initial thought. Relationships are like a garden, they need tending. Cultivate your relationships, your network, for growth, action, and interaction.

Staying in touch with people is like the little drops of water that make the trees grow and blossom. (Don’t know how to initiate? — “Been thinking about you.” “We haven’t communicated in a while. Do you have a few minutes to chat by phone in the next few days or week?”)

English Communication Skill: Encourage Conversation- The Road to Rapport

English Communication Skill:  Encourage Conversation- The Road to Rapport

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Relationship is the heart of social and work life. Communication is the heart of relationship and rapport. What’s the cardinal characteristic that encourages others to feel comfortable and converse? Observation.

Look around and notice what surrounds another person– say a picture of an ocean setting– and start a conversation.  When stumbling on a topic of importance to the other person, pursue it and reveal something about the self.  Revelations. experiences, viewpoints, and desires give other persons something they can respond to. Conversation blossoms.

The best communicators listen and get to know others.  In the work place, that is how to get to know how to meet colleagues needs which is part of the give-and-take of organizations.

Go out of the way to make people feel comfortable.  The CEO of Child Readiness Foundation on holidays wears his tie with little children on it– eye-catching and fun.  People know he’s approachable and gives them something to talk about.

Women can invite conversation with fun, unusual pins, earrings, or bright scarf.  When we see someone with something unusual or fun, we know they are inviting conversation and it’s okay to comment.

Conversational T-shirts are ice-breakers  We wear our opinions, ideas, and commitments across our chests.  We get them as gifts or  as “part of the event.”  In either case, they give others something to talk about.  Get these wearable ice=breakers from art museums, music venues, amusement and national parks.

Coming out of two years of Covid pandemic, all the sweeter is the encouraging and making of conversation, especially when the techniques are so easy.

Be sure to watch our English Speech Tips videos and Accent Reduction Tip videos  for more English pronunciation and accent reduction exercises.